How Caregivers Can Take Care of Themselves

One of the most important things caregivers can do is take care of themselves. A caregiver's physical and emotional health is vital to the well-being of the person who is ill. In fact, many cancer survivors say they always felt as though their families and friends were having a much harder time than they were and would have felt better knowing that their caregivers were taking care of themselves.

How to cope

Caregivers may experience periods of stress, anxiety, depression, and frustration. The following are suggestions to help avoid feeling overwhelmed:

Find support. Talking to others who are caring for a family member or friend with cancer can help caregivers better cope with their own feelings of anger, isolation, sadness, or grief. Oncology social workers may be able to connect caregivers with local resources such as support groups.

Do something you enjoy. Despite the needs of the person who is ill that require your attention, it's important for caregivers to make time for themselves. This means doing something regularly that gives you strength, peace, or joy. Examples include getting together with friends; painting, drawing, or playing music; going to a movie; and attending religious services. There is no need to feel guilty for finding pleasure, it helps distract you and keeps you well.

Ask for assistance. This can mean hiring people to care for the person with cancer, helping with chores around the house, or providing childcare. Family, friends, members of religious organizations, and people in community groups are often willing to assist. If they do, accept their help and give them specific tasks.

Recognize the signs of stress and try to make changes to help reduce it. Signs of stress may include continual exhaustion, frequent sickness, inadequate sleep, impatience, irritability, forgetfulness, the inability to enjoy activities, and withdrawing from people.

Be kind and patient with yourself. Many caregivers experience occasional anger or frustration and then feel guilty for having these feelings. Try to find positive ways of coping with these difficult feelings, such as exercising, journaling (link to new feature article), or talking to friends.

Learn about the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). If employed, take advantage of the Family and Medical Leave Act (Dept of Labor link). This act requires employers with 50 or more employees to provide up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave for family members who need time off in order to care for a seriously ill family member. Employers are required to continue benefits during the leave period, and some may allow a flexible or reduced work schedule. The FMLA also permits employers to provide leave provisions that are more generous than the act requires.

When to seek professional help

It is important for caregivers to pay close attention to their own emotional health and seek professional help when it is needed. Depression and anxiety are common among caregivers. In fact, caregivers use prescription drugs for depression, anxiety, and insomnia two to three times more often than the general population. Ask for professional help if you feel you are at risk for depression or recognize the symptoms in yourself.

Depression in a caregiver

The signs of depression include feelings of sadness and despair that interfere with daily activities. In addition to sadness and despair, other symptoms may include the following:

Loss of appetite or overeating
Problems sleeping (insomnia or oversleeping)
Lack of energy
Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions
Irritability
Excessive crying
Aches and pains for no apparent reason, headache, constant unexplained pains
Excessive use of alcohol
Feelings of despair

Seeking treatment for depression

Consult with your own doctor. Here are some practical tips to help you deal with the stress of caregiving:

Avoid excessive use of alcoholic beverages.
Plan enjoyable activities with other people.
Take time for yourself and participate in activities that bring you comfort and peace.
Join a support group.
Find someone who can listen without giving advice or making comments.

Anxiety in a caregiver

Anxiety is a common and normal response to a stressful situation, such as cancer and caring for someone with cancer.

Signs and symptoms of anxiety may include the following:

Difficulty solving problems, making decisions, or concentrating
Feeling excitable or restless
Increased muscle tension or feeling tense
Headaches
Unexplained and constant anger or irritability
Insomnia
Excessive worrying

Seeking treatment for anxiety

If you recognize these symptoms, call your doctor or make an appointment to speak with him or her. Here are some practical tips to help relieve anxiety:

Determine what thoughts are causing the anxiety.
Talk to someone who has been through a similar situation.
Seek the help of a social worker, support group, religious advisor (such as a rabbi, chaplain, or pastor), psychiatrist, psychologist, or family counselor.
Increase pleasant, distracting activities.
Increase companionship and time spent with friends and family.
Relieve physical symptoms such as pain or other side effects.
Practice relaxation techniques, such as meditation, music therapy, and mild exercise, such as yoga.

Keep in mind that taking care of your needs makes you a more effective caregiver, which ultimately helps the person who is ill.