Understanding Grief Within a Cultural Context

This section has been reviewed and approved by the PLWC Editorial Board, 4/05

Feelings of loss following the death of a loved one are universal, but the way these feelings are experienced and expressed differs across cultures. Each culture has its own rituals and practices that guide grief and help dying individuals and their loved ones cope with loss.

Definitions of grief, mourning, bereavement, and culture

The terms grief and mourning are often used interchangeably, but they mean different things. Grief is one's inner and personal experience of and response to loss. Mourning is the outward expression of that grief and includes the cultural practices and customs that follow the death of a loved one. Bereavement is the public/community acknowledgment of death.

Every culture has its own worldview—a core set of beliefs that describe how the world, or universe, works and the roles of individuals in that world. Especially in societies in which the majority of individuals share the same religion, religious beliefs, and values, this makes up a large part of the culture's structure and worldview. Culture is also made up of the beliefs, values, behaviors, traditions, and rituals that are shared by the members of a cultural group and provide meaning and purpose for one's life.

Culture and the meaning of death

Each culture's worldview includes beliefs about the meaning and purpose of life and what happens after death. Culture informs the meaning of death for each person and, therefore, the emotions each person experiences as he or she approaches death or the death of a loved one. For example, some of the pain of this loss can be eased by the belief that people live on in a hereafter, or that they will be born again to a better life. In some cultures, the spirit of a deceased loved one directly influences the living, and bereaved family members may be comforted by the knowledge that their loved one is watching over them. Beliefs about the meaning of death help individuals make sense of death and cope with the mystery and fear surrounding dying.

Culture and rituals surrounding death

In each culture, death is surrounded by rituals and customs that help the bereaved grieve and mourn. Rituals offer individuals prescribed and culturally supported ways to express their grief, as well as opportunities for community members to support the bereaved. Death can create chaos and confusion, and rituals can provide a sense of predictability and normalcy for both the bereaved and the wider community. Rituals and customs provide a set of directions that help structure the time surrounding death and describe the roles of different individuals. Cultural customs and rituals help answer the following questions:

How the dying person should be cared for as he or she approaches death, including who should be present and any ceremonies that should be performed at the moments before and after death
How the body should be handled after death, including how the body should be cleansed and dressed, who should handle the body, and whether the body should be buried or cremated
Whether grief should be expressed quietly and privately or loudly and publicly, such as with public crying, keening, or wailing
Whether there are different grief expectations for men versus women or for children versus adults
What ceremonies and rituals should be performed and who should participate, such as children, community members, friends, etc.
How long family members are expected to grieve and how they are expected to dress and behave during the mourning period
How the deceased should be remembered over the lifetime of the family, such as through ongoing rituals to celebrate or communicate with the deceased
What new roles bereaved family members are expected to take on, such as whether a widow is expected to remarry or whether an oldest son is expected to become the family leader

Failing to carry out expected rituals and customs can interfere with the necessary grieving process, leading to feelings of unresolved loss. Carrying out familiar rituals and customs offers a sense of stability and security and helps bereaved individuals to accept the death of a loved one and to work through their grief.

Individual differences in grief and mourning

Individuals and families adapt the beliefs and values of their culture to meet their own unique experiences, needs, and situations. Because of this, the individual grief responses of members of a culture often differ. This is especially true in societies made up of people from a variety of cultural backgrounds. A family with members from two or more cultural backgrounds may develop its own unique set of rituals and customs. The grief experiences of members of the family will likely reflect this cultural blend.

In some instances, cultural expectations may be at odds with an individual's experience of grief. Someone who is usually quiet and reserved may not feel he or she can publicly cry as might be expected. Another person may experience a level of despair that feels out of step with his or her culture's belief in life after death. Even given cultural norms and expectations, individuals need to grieve in ways that feel right to them.

Grief and cultural sensitivity

It is important to remember that there is no correct way to grieve or mourn. Customs, behaviors, and emotions that may be considered strange or inappropriate in one culture may be considered "appropriate" or "normal" ways of grieving in another culture. Given the differences in mourning rituals and customs, it can be difficult to know how to be sensitive to the grief experienced by someone from a different cultural background. You may want to consider the following as you support a grieving friend, coworker, or other person from a different cultural background:

What emotions and behaviors are considered "normal" grief responses
What are the bereaved family's beliefs surrounding death
Who is expected to attend mourning ceremonies and how are attendees expected to dress and act
Are gifts, flowers, or other offerings expected
What special days or dates will be significant for the bereaved family
What types of verbal or written condolence are considered appropriate

To find out more about the customs and mourning practice of someone from another culture, consider talking to someone who shares the same cultural background, looking for books at your local library, or searching for information on the Internet.

Additional resources

National Cancer Institute (NCI): Loss, Grief, and Bereavement (PDQ®): Culture and Response to Grief and Mourning
(PDQ stands for Physician Data Query)

Compassion At Work: Articles on Corporate Wellness–Grief and Diversity

AARP: Grief and Loss